if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
