I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
