she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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