i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
