You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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