I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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