It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize