But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize