There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
