she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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