ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
