This is not my ceiling
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
