I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
