I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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