Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize