It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
