You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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