I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
