I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
