I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
