These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize