Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
