Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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