So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
