So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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