I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
