the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
