I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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