Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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