he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
