I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
