just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
why does every cop we meet know your name?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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