can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
