Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
