I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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