wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
