'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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