trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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