I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
