There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
