dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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