I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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