This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
