Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
