I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
