We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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