I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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