This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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