You can't motorboat a personality
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
