When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
