we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
