I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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