census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
