Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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