In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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