Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize