You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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