That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
